Although many are quite beautiful, a Vietnamese family altar is much more than a decorative display. It is the focal point of a family’s rituals to honor their ancestors and keep them alive in memory. It is often considered the center of the home, and it usually has chairs and a small table in front of it where guests may sit and drink tea with members of the family.

The incense on the family altar is burned in a beautiful bowl during ceremonies, and other items suitable to the occasion may be placed on the altar as well. For example, during Tet, the celebration of the Vietnamese New Year, the family will add special fruits to the altar as a way of honoring their ancestors. Another important ritual is the Kitchen God ceremony, which happens a week before the start of the new year. For the Kitchen God ceremony, a Vietnamese family might place a paper hat and shoes on the altar, along with special foods. It is their hope that the Kitchen Gods will put in a good word about the family to the Jade Emperor, who might grant them good luck in the coming year.

Probably the most important ceremonies involving the family altar relate to mourning the loss of a loved one. After a family member has died, photographs of the person are set on the altar along with candles and incense. Relatives and friends come to pay their respects to the deceased person and the family and to say prayers. Typically, incense is burned on the altar every day for 100 days after the person has died, and the family may place some of the person’s favorite foods on the altar. These rituals are meant to show that the deceased person is still very much a part of the family while, at the same time, he or she has become an honored ancestor.

The yearly anniversary of a death, called Dam Gio, is a meaningful date for Vietnamese families. Dam Gio is not a gloomy occasion―instead, it is more like a party! Generations of the family come together and prepare a big feast. They place the deceased person’s favorite dishes and other offerings on the family altar. They burn incense and tell stories about the person’s life. At this party, the dead person is the guest of honor. An important message of Dam Gio is that the deceased is still very much a part of the family, even though they have passed on to become an honored ancestor.