Like a learning a musical instrument or a sport, speaking clearly and effectively takes practice. Learn about speaking skills in the table below. Give yourself a pat on the back for any of these skills you already use regularly.
| Skill | Explanation and Example |
|---|---|
| Think before your speak. | Do a little planning about the points you want to make and the words you want to use. In casual, friendly conversation where it is unlikely you will be misunderstood, this is not always necessary. In conversations or meetings where the stakes are higher, this skill is absolutely necessary. |
| Make clear, simple statements. | Sometimes this is not possible if you are trying to express complex ideas. But generally, the more you want your message to get through, the clearer it needs to be. For example, if someone asks if you’d like pizza for supper, just answer yes or no. Telling your listener long story about the terrible pizza you got from Eddie’s Pizza Parlor last month is unnecessary. |
| Use “I” messages to express your thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs. | People can be hesitant to use “I” messages because they think it makes them sound egotistical or rude. However, the best way to communicate what’s going on inside you is to say it directly. Don’t confuse your thoughts, feelings, wants, or needs with someone else’s. INDIRECT: You need to give me more attention. (No. That’s not true. Actually, the other person doesn’t “need” to do that.) DIRECT: I need/want/would like for you to pay more attention to me. |
| Be honest, direct, and tactful. | Sometimes people are tactful at the expense of being honest and direct. But effective communication requires all three.
INEFFECTIVE: Would you like to set the table now? (Not really. I’d rather finish this graphic novel I’m reading.) EFFECTIVE: Would you please set the table now? OR I’d like you to set the table now, please. |
| Use appropriate body language. | Face your listener, sit or stand with your back straight, keep your arms and legs uncrossed. This is called “open” posture, and it shows that you take the conversation and the listener seriously. |
| Make eye contact and suitable gestures to deliver your message. | “Eye contact” doesn’t mean staring at your listeners without blinking. Rather, it means glancing at them to see if they are paying attention, are bored, or have a question. Be aware of the gestures you use and limit them to those that are appropriate for your audience. |
| Let your listener respond. | If you have been talking for a while, your listeners may have a question. Pause and let them ask it. Learn to be comfortable with pausing for a couple of seconds to let other people catch up, add a comment, or offer their view. Don't be a conversation hog! |
