“Dear Jackie, I am so excited to write to you. My name is Misako, and I live in Kagoshima, Japan.”

This is how the very first message from my Japanese pen pal begins. After Misako and I began exchanging emails, I became very interested in her country. I wanted to ask Misako questions about her life, but I didn’t want to sound silly or stupid or―especially―rude.

I decided to search the Internet and see what I could learn about Japan and its culture. The first site I found was an encyclopedia article about the country. It mostly discussed Japan’s history, and although that was interesting, I didn’t learn much about Japan’s culture today.

Next, I searched for “Japanese culture”―and what do you know? I found links to several magazine articles, and also some cool travel sites that described what to expect about the culture in Japan if you’re able to visit.

The next thing I did was narrow my topic a little―to focus on what I wanted to know more about. First, I researched Japanese arts and crafts. I knew about origami already, but I wondered if there were other art forms that started in Japan. I was surprised to learn that amigurumi―those cute little crocheted objects that you see online―actually started there. I decided to ask Misako if she knew how to crochet or had ever tried to make amigurumi.

Another topic I researched was something I had seen on one of the travel websites―the Japanese Tea Ceremony. I found several articles about this tradition and even watched some videos. I learned a little bit about how the host prepares the ceremony, and a lot about how guests should act during the ceremony. There were a lot of rules about that!

The last topic I researched was Japanese etiquette. I wanted to know how to show respect for my new friend―and also how not to offend her. I learned about the custom of bowing in Japan, which was fascinating but not very useful, since I wouldn’t be hanging out in person with Misako. However, I also found a few articles about how Japanese people communicate respectfully in writing.

Because of my research, I now know a little more about Japan’s culture and how people usually interact there. I can’t wait to ask Misako about some of the things I’ve learned. Here’s what I wrote back to her:

“Dear Misako, Thanks for your email. I would love to learn more about your culture. For instance, have you ever participated in a Japanese Tea Ceremony? If so, what’s it like?”