In fiction, suspense is in the details. Authors carefully craft their stories to keep us interested and to make us care about the outcome.
Which passage below keeps you guessing about what happens next? Click the passage to check your response.
| He'd had to leave that Cub Scout troop when, once again, his family moved for what seemed to Will like the hundredth time. He and Grand had formed a troop of their own back then. They'd called themselves the Wigloos, and their simple motto was "Be True." | This passage is exposition: It fills in important background information, but it doesn't directly contribute to the story's suspense. |
| "Let's have it then," demanded Max. Will looked again at the shadowy figures ringing the fire, members of this special club that would, in just minutes, welcome him in. On Monday at school, he'd swagger through the halls with them, no longer an outsider. He slid his hand into the pocket of his jeans, enclosing the flash drive in his palm. |
The passage creates suspense about whether Will is going to hand over the flash drive to Max. Max's demand forces the issue. The author then prolongs the suspense by having Will close his hand around the flash drive without pulling it out of his pocket. |
Now read the passage below.
"He doesn't have it," Jason suddenly declared. He took a step forward, dropping his hood, his golden curls obscuring one eye. "I told you he wouldn't do it. I told you he didn't have the guts." Will flinched at the words, stunned as some of the other boys seconded the affront.
In the silence that followed Will could hear the embers, crackling sharply in the fire. Something stirred in a branch above, and a strange thought skittered across his mind. He raised his gaze to the quivering limb, half expecting to see it there: a sharp-eyed hawk, gazing down from a great, dark height.
He heard his own voice, rising up from a place that did not seem part of him. "Jason's right. I couldn't do it. I lost my nerve."
"I don't believe you. You need us too much." Max's voice seemed to ooze with scorn. To Jason he barked, "Turn his pockets inside out."
Will jumped out of Jason's reach, but Tom was there on the other side, and a few of the boys sprang from their seats around the fire, scrambling to help. Will clutched the flash drive tightly in his palm as they yanked his arms and pawed through the pockets of his jeans. It was Max who noticed his balled up fist.
"Look!" he shouted. "It's in his hand!"
What details in this passage help create suspense?
The hostile words and actions of the boys create suspense by showing us that Will is in danger. Jason takes a step forward in a threatening way and then tries to get hold of Will to check his pockets. Suspense heightens as the boys search Will's pockets and then realize that the flash drive is in his hand.
