Writing that lacks clarity and coherence might be poorly organized or veer off topic. If a writer does not stick to one central idea--or fails to arrange the supporting ideas in a logical way, it will be difficult for readers to follow along and comprehend the text.
See if you can identify what has gone wrong—or gone right—in each of the examples below. As you read each passage, look for features that give the text clarity and coherence. If the text lacks clarity and coherence, try to figure out why.
Emanuel jumped out of bed. And peered out his bedroom window. He had been patiently waiting all week to go sledding and he always checked the weather channel in the evening and the weatherman was certain that snow was in the weekend forecast so Emanuel was extremely pleased to see a blanket of fluffy, white snow glistening across the ground. He raced downstairs. He began rummaging through the coat closet. He looked for his jacket. He looked for his snow pants and hat. Emanuel put on his gloves.
What is it about this paragraph that makes it difficult to read?
In 1682, an English astronomer, by the name of Edmond Halley, first saw the magical space object that would soon be known, as Halley’s Comet. Using what he knew about the laws of gravity, Halley began to predict, when the comet would be seen again. Halley’s Comet became the most famous of all comets—perhaps because it is the only comet that can be seen twice in a human lifetime, making its appearance about every 75 years. Astronomers believe that people have been observing Halley’s Comet, since 240 BC. It is the only known comet that can be seen with the naked eye from Earth.
How clear and coherent is this paragraph? What’s working well, and what might interfere with a reader’s understanding?
Liquid chocolate can be traced as far back as the early 1500s, which is when Montezuma, the Emperor of the Aztecs, declared it his favorite drink. In 1529, Hernando Cortez brought the drink back to Spain, and it was enjoyed for many years by Spanish royalty. It wasn’t until three centuries later, in 1847, that Joseph Fry discovered a way to make chocolate suitable for eating.
Fry invented a way to mix cocoa powder, sugar, and liquid cocoa to create a paste that could be pressed in a mold to harden. In 1866, soon after his tasty discovery, Fry’s chocolate factory in Bristol, England began producing the Fry’s Chocolate Cream Bar. Even though Fry’s original bittersweet candy bar would not be considered delectable by today’s standards, it laid the foundation for one of the world’s favorite candy treats.
What gives this passage clarity and coherence?
Question
How will this course help you with clarity and coherence in your own writing?
