Trevor made dozens of changes to his rhetorical essay as he transformed it into a speech. Many of the changes were related to the fact that Trevor had a more specific audience for his speech—his classmates, who were all teenagers. Some of the changes, though, were the result of Trevor imagining what it would be like to hear his words rather than read them.
Let's take a closer look at a few of the more important changes that Trevor made. As you may remember, the hook and clincher are probably the most critical parts of a speech because they represent the moments when you need to grab listeners' attention (with the hook) and then leave them with a forceful reminder of your message (the clincher). Use the questions on the tabs to examine some of Trevor's wiser revisions.
The Hook
The Clincher
When you start speaking to an audience, you have very little time to get them focused on your message and to make them want to hear it. Compare the first paragraph of Trevor's essay to the first paragraph of his speech.
| Rhetorical Essay | Rhetorical Speech |
| Cell phones and other electronic devices have become so central to our lives that they seem almost like extra limbs. Whether we're snapping selfies, texting dinner plans, or logging our locations on social media, our phones are the magical portals to both our online and offline social lives. But when the cell phone meets the road, the results can be tragic. Ask yourself: how important is that text you're about to type while you're pulling out into traffic or coasting along the road home? Is it more important than your life? than someone else's life? | How much do you use your cell phone? Admit it: if you're not snapping selfies or texting weekend plans with friends, you're logging your life on social media. What about when you're behind the wheel, though? Does your cell phone lie quietly beside you on the seat? It should; because when cell phone activity meets the road, the results can be incredibly tragic. If you're tempted to pick up your phone while driving, first ask yourself: How important is that text you're about to read or try to send? Is it more important than your life? than someone else's life? |
Now, consider these questions about Trevor's changes. Think of your own answer before clicking the question to compare your answer to ours.
| Trevor changed his first sentence to a question that he addresses to his listeners directly, using the pronoun you. Then, he demands that they "admit" something that he knows is true of most of his listeners. How do these changes affect the tone and style of Trevor's speech? | They make the tone less formal, more conversational. Trevor's audience consists of teens like himself—probably some of his own friends. To "hook" them, he needs to speak a language similar to what they use together normally. Also, questions like these tend to get listeners thinking about themselves in relation to the topic—always a good way to get people interested in what you have to say. |
| Why does the second sentence in Trevor's hook work better for a speech than his essay's second sentence? | The essay's second sentence is more vague and more formal. It can apply to readers of all ages because most people who have cell phones use them to communicate socially in various ways. For a specific audience like Trevor's listeners, though, it's more useful to provide examples that get them thinking about their own use of cell phones. |
| Why did Trevor add this clause to the beginning of his fifth sentence: If you're tempted to pick up your phone while driving? | The addition reminds the audience of Trevor's topic, which is important because listeners can't glance back at the speech's title or first sentences as readers can. |
By the time you get to the end of your speech, you should have provided plenty of evidence to support your message and also enough emotional "punch" to make that message matter to your listeners. The clincher, in the last paragraph of your speech, is your last opportunity to sway an audience toward your way of thinking. Compare these two clincher paragraphs, one from Trevor's essay and one from his speech.
| Rhetorical Essay | Rhetorical Speech |
| So how can you make a difference? First, of course, don't text and drive—ever. Second, speak up when you see others doing it. Friends don't let friends text and drive. Third, whenever you are driving, keep in mind that other drivers' eyes may not be on the road. Stay alert and drive defensively to prevent accidents before they happen. To borrow from the title of a Flannery O'Connor story, the life you save may be your own. | Fortunately, you can make a difference! First of all, don't text and drive—ever. Make that pledge to yourself, even if you don't sign your name anywhere. Second, speak up when you see others doing it. True friends don't let their friends text and drive—we're supposed to look out for each other, in all kinds of situations. Third, whenever you are driving, keep in mind that other drivers' eyes may not be on the road. Stay alert and drive defensively to prevent accidents before they happen. The life you save may be your own. And the life you take can haunt you forever. |
Now use these questions to identity the changes Trevor made and to consider the reasoning behind his changes.
| How did Trevor change the first sentence of his clincher paragraph, and why? | Trevor changed the sentence from a question to statement. He's about to make a pitch for more responsible behavior on the part of his peers—teenagers like himself. He needs to get them excited or inspired about his suggestions, rather than assuming that they want to make changes, as the question implies. |
| For his speech, Trevor added a sentence between each of his three suggestions. Why are these additional sentences a good idea for his speech? | Because listeners can't reread the paragraph—or even read it at their own pace, it's important to give them time to let these ideas sink in. Each extra sentence provides that time and also suggests a more specific way or reason to follow the suggestion. These additions are likely to make the end of the speech stick in listeners' minds longer. |
